


Almost Blinding

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Aww, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes-centric, CA:CW - Freeform, CA:TFA, CA:TWS, Fluff, M/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, So sappy it is now a tree, Stucky being Stucky, What else is new, because they deserve it, but happy ending, kinda angsty, stevie - Freeform, these boys though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 16:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11763387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Flashes through time of Steve and Bucky.The Winter Soldier cannot quite kill the voice in him telling him to protect his Stevie.





	Almost Blinding

 He would never give up. If there was one good thing people could admit about that rascal, Bucky Barnes, it's that he was tenacious. Once he got a grip, he would never let go, not even if it killed him. There was a rumor that the day he was born, Bucky gripped the midwife's fingers so tight, he didn't let go for a week.  
Bucky's Ma just rolled her eyes at that story, she knew better, but she also knew that was just like her boy. Presumptuous perseverance to a fault.  
But it was tiring work, being that stubborn- there wasn't much in this world that Bucky seemed inclined to hold onto like that.  
Or, rather, as far as anyone could tell, there was only one thing- his Stevie.  
Whenever Steve was around, everybody knew Bucky was never far off- fact was, nobody had ever seen Steve's shoulders much, seeing as how they always had Bucky's arm wrapped around them. Buck didn't tend to see much else when his Stevie was around, neither.  
It was like everything around him was dull and dark, and his eyes couldn't resist being pulled back to that sparkling, glimmering boy. Some days it was enough to make your eyes hurt, Bucky'd swear.  
But he was always stubborn, so he didn't usually bother to try to look away in the first place.

•

 He heard that voice in his head again. It had started happening more strongly recently. He could almost recall, decades ago, a voice in his head that nobody else could hear.  
It was like his, but different, not as deep, not as harsh. And it only ever talked about one thing. He couldn't remember the name of the thing, but he knew it was important. If only he could remember...  
It was screaming at him now, louder than he'd ever heard it before.  
" _Stop_!" There was desperation and panic in the voice, something he was used to hearing a lot of. But why did this bother him then?  
" _Stop! Don't touch him! Get your hands **OFF**!_ "  
He shook his head, trying to clear it. The voice only got louder.  
" _Don't touch him, stop it! Please! Please, I am begging you- I'll do anything! Just anything but this... **WE SWORE WE'D NEVER HURT HIM**!"_  
The Asset paused at this, subconsciously. He couldn't make himself move, and he knew that was a quick way to get yourself killed- he's seen it happen often enough. But those words struck a chord in him....

•

 Buck had come home after a long day at the docks, to find Steve looking worse than usual. Another fight.  
He hated that he wasn't there to protect the one thing he was on this earth to protect in the first place, but he had to go to work. If he skipped a single day he'd get fired, and he could barely feed the two of them as it was. He couldn't help the shudders wracking his body when he thought about what would happen if Stevie got sick again- real sick, that was. Steve was never well, but if he needed more than a couple days of special medicine, Bucky didn't know what he'd do.  
For now, he was scrimping on food, he'd had the butt end of the last of the bread and an old apple for lunch today. The other workers picked on him, warned him that if he starved then he'd pass out and lose his job. He knew that, he wasn't stupid.  
But he was tenacious, and determined- he wasn't gonna pass out. He needed this job.  
So he ate only what he needed to get by, and whatever didn't go to the rent or groceries for Stevie, went under the mattress. Some months he'd only save a dime, but it was something. It was 10 cents more, 10 cents closer to getting Stevie better next time he got sick.  
He never told Steve about it- he'd kill him if he found out Bucky wasn't eating right. He always made up an excuse for having the money when they needed it. Extra hours at the docks, he said usually, but sometimes he'd go with a weak "found it on the ground" or something.  
Steve didn't always believe him, not really, but he didn't know where it came from, and he was too exhausted for a proper inquisition when he was that sick.  
Besides, Bucky was sneaky and stubborn, and good at dodging.  
So he worked his butt off, and came home to Stevie every night, to the only place in the world he'd wanna be.  
Steve looked worse than he usually did after his fights- he's gotten whooped pretty bad this time, by the looks of it.  
But Bucky didn't doubt for one second that the other guy had some bruises on him, too, and went away with a grudging respect for a shrimpy brat that would stand up for things nobody else would even think about.  
Bucky sighed a bit, and immediately went to get the first aid kit. Looks like Steve had only done the barest amount of clean up, and Bucky was not about to let him get an infection and catch a fever from a busted lip.  
Steve was zoning out over his sketchbook, drawing another masterpiece Bucky was sure, when he came up behind him and started dabbing at the worst of it.  
Steve, off in his own little world, hadn't even noticed Bucky coming home- he gave a little snort at that, typical Stevie- and jolted when he felt the damp cloth on his skin.  
He scrambled back a few feet before he registered what was happening, but relaxed immediately when he saw it was his best friend.  
"Buck" he said, his own little greeting.  
Bucky figured he must be tired, or low on food, or somethin'. He didn't know why it got to him, but it did.  
His brows scrunched in the middle, and his mouth got hard like it did when he was worried about something.  
"Stevie, you... you know I'd never hurt you, right?"  
Steve looked at him like he was crazy.  
"What's wrong with you? Why wouldn't I know that?"  
Bucky heard him mumble something about too much heat and going crazy, but he just grinned that lopsided grin at his best friend, which immediately caused Steve to go quiet. It always did.  
That smile sure was a sight to see. It always made the room a bit brighter, the world a bit cleaner and sparklier. It was weird. Some days it was enough to make your eyes hurt, Steve'd swear.

•  
_I know him_.  
The Asset stayed there, paused in time, trying to catch a memory he wasn't sure was his about something he couldn't even remember the name of. He shook his head, but once again, that almost seemed to make the problem worse.  
The voice in his head sounded broken, tired. But it was also nowhere near done. He could tell, it had a stubborn tenacity strong as steel running through it.  
And it had been screaming at him for well over 70 years.  
He wondered.... what would it be like if he listened? What would happen if he listened and did as he was being asked-begged- by this desperate voice that was so strong but so weak at the same time?  
...Was it worth it to find out?

•  
 The voice was there still, but these days it just sounded like his own voice. He hardly even noticed it anymore. He figures it's probably still there, so stubborn, but nowadays it tended to mirror his own thoughts so exactly that he really didn't hear it much anymore.  
He lay on the bed, so much bigger than the one they had shared before, laid on his side, looking at the angel next to him.  
The Sun was just starting to come up, and the orange rays bounced off the light golden hair in front of him, just almost enough enough to make his eyes hurt.  
Didn't mean he'd look away though. He stroked it softly instead, amazed at the soft silk that was so light and weightless, he could barely feel it on the fingers of his right hand. He smoothed it off a brow that crowned the two bluest cornflowers in the world. Steve's eyes were closed now, he was asleep, and Bucky almost thought of it as a blessing. When he looked into those brilliant blue eyes, he couldn't look away, couldn't thing of a thing, he could only stare.  
He traced down a strong nose to a jaw that was just as stubborn as the day they met, and down his neck. Steve wasn't as pale these days, he was healthy and spent most of his time outside. Combine that with good blood circulation and a regular diet, and Bucky thrilled at how healthy his angel looked. He didn't know if he would ever break the habit of hiding his extra pennies under the matress, but these days, pennies weren't so scarce, and he was glad he could eat and look after his Stevie at the same time.  
It's more than he ever though he could have, than he ever dreamed of.  
For just a second he could swear he could hear the voice in him smile and curl in tighter to the body next to him, sleeping so soundly.  
He smiled too, and decided that was a very good idea.


End file.
